Pitiless Posts for Pitiful Times

I love this picture. I love this picture for reasons even beyond that of my immaculate sideburns (a word previously only used to describe the virgin birth of my Lord and Saviour). I love this picture because anyone can look at it and pretty much surmise their own translation of the relationship between my sister Jennifer and I. It's all right there in the photo. And while you all may make your own relativistic interpretations, the underlying truth of the photo is this:

My sister's hair tastes phenomenal. Seriously.

You might think I'm being facetious or trying too hard to be funny for the purpose of the blog, but the truth of the matter is that Jennifer has great tasting hair. As with all things amazing regarding my sister I take full credit for it, since most of her amazing qualities can be traced back to me in some way or another. The great tasting hair is no exception here either folks. I've instilled in Jen a "lather/rinse/repeat" routine to rival Fabio himself. I'm not sure what that says about me as a man, but I sure as hell know what it says about my sister Jennifer...

She's got great hygene, and that's what I love and admire most about her. She showers. Regularily even. A skill I've still yet to conquer.

So Jen, as you and I begin to examine all the reasons why you're now single, I think we can both say without fear that it's not because you have bad tasting hair.

I love you. (but only because you shower)

~I've also yet to decide whether or not to make this into a series entitled "Not The Reason You're Single".